Descubriendo verdades

Antes pensaba que era romántico estar perdido.

Portaba mis amores como una bandera, y un escudo.

Pero ahora COMPRENDO que el amor no es perderse sino encontrarse.

El amor es la isla y no la tormenta.

El agua y no la sed.

Adiós

   Me mantuve en vela tanto como pude, para que tu ultimo día se prolongara y pudieras estar vivo en mi mente mucho más.

  Ahora me voy a dormir, esperando encontrarte en mis sueños para acariciarte las orejas y dejar que me muerdas las manos.

  Adiós, mi hermoso amigo.

Hippie rant.

" We have in all naiveté forgotten that beneath our world of reason another lies buried. I do not know what humanity will still have to undergo before it dares to admit this." C.G. Jung


  For me, it has never been about believing,  It has always been about feeling and experiencing.

Therefore, I refuse to accept that everything my consciousness and dream-self experiences is the result of a chemical reaction in my brain, and that our brains are just tricking themselves by experiencing and perceiving unexplainable stuff. "It's all in your mind".

Too Easy.

Are we just innocent victims of our own minds?

I do acknowledge that there are things that cannot be explained by words or science, but we have to acknowledge the fact that our senses are limited and that our rational thinking is enclosed within the scientific frame of the world we live in.

Try to explain electricity to a peasant of the XVII century.

What I think is that someday there will be a way to explain things that can only be described, perceived and experienced by the non-logical part of ourselves; all those "strange" things that are still being explained by rite, myth and superstition.

My hope is that, at some point, we will be able to accept, through the conscious part of ourselves, that there is an element in what makes us human that is indeed connected (for lack of a better word) to everything else, and that it will be widely acknowledged and accepted as a part of what being human is.

We're still in some kind of a dark age when feelings and dreams are concerned, a part of ourselves that is clouded in "western cartesianism" where any explanation outside the frame of known, secure parameters is deemed as "primitive", "wacky", "new age" and whatever term is in fashion.

I'm not saying that "magic" or "myth" or "lore" are explanations either, what I think I'm trying to say is that  if I feel that there must be another explanation that remains unreachable for us, there will be a time when we will be able to explain the stuff in dreams and the unexplainable of the waking life (what we sometimes need to call "magic" for now) as easily as we can explain electronics and the Alpha Waves.

But, what if this unexplainable part of us remains intangible? What if there is no explanation for what humans have been experiencing and documenting all throughout history as dreams or trascendental feelings?

I could need an explanation, because is hard to explain the inner world,  and because, I insist, there must be more to it than chemical reactions, proteins and dopamine tricking us. Feeling this, and being aware of it doesn't make me special or unique in any way, but I embrace this part of me and I quite enjoy living in my dreams and feeling that small and big "magic" in the simplest of things, in despite of being discarded as a phony, primitive and naive person. I enjoy weird coincidences, I enjoy the surreal appearing in the most boring things in the world. I enjoy the unexpected and the unknown.

As I said, I could use an explanation, but by the gods I don't NEED ONE.

Sum ego

I'm an asshole

I'm a liar

I'm a crazy person

I'm a naive man

I'm a poser

I'm an unrealistic individual

I'm a mythomaniac

I'm the best

I'm a mediocre

I'm the worst

I'm a great guitar player

I'm an intimidating delusional person.

I'm like a solid rock

I'm a nerd

I'm a geek

I'm a Bad Mexican

I'm a great lover

I'm addicted to feel. Anything.

I'm boring

I'm funny

I'm really smart 

I'm unreliable

I'm not sincere

I'm humble

I'm unrealistic

I'm a good son

I'm a great friend

I'm a soundmeister

I'm clean

I'm big

I'm stubborn

I'm devious

I'm cruel

I'm a bad, bad writer

I'm a wishful thinker

I'm a really interesting person

I'm ugly

I'm pretencious

I'm proud

I'm fucking beautiful

I'm crafty

I'm really resourceful

I'm a humanist

I'm elocuent

I'm dark, in skin and soul

I burn

I inspire

I'm uninspiring

I sound like Placebo

I'm way out my league

I'm a good joker

I will make it

I have actually already done it.


 Everybody seems to know something and everything about me. These and a million other things I've been told I am. Can you add some more?

 I don't know who I am or what I am, and  I'm just starting to suspect what I want.  I take pride in that fact.